Church Unveils 'Slow-Track' Program
- By Amy Chamberlain
SALT LAKE CITY
In order to better meet the needs of 'our most
average members,' church representative Howard S.
Jeppeson announced the creation of a new slow-track
membership program. 'This program caters to those
members of the church who may not be top-level
celestial material but who are still willing to put
in a nominal effort toward their own salvation,' he
said.
The slow-track program includes the same
components of normal church membership, but at a
more relaxed pace. Members who sign on for the
program are required to read scriptures and have
personal and family prayer once a week, attend
church once a month, visit teach or home teach four
times a year, and watch one session of general
conference every other year. If slow-track members
can commit to these requirements for five years,
they can earn a temple recommend stamped with an S
for 'slow track,' after which they are expected to
attend the temple semiannually. According to
Jeppeson, the church may create a shorter, condensed
version of the temple ceremony for S-track members
'in order to better accommodate those members'
shorter attention spans and lower levels of
ambition.'
Social historian Jane Schippen, PhD, a long-time
scholarly observer of Mormon society, hails the new
slow-track program. 'Mormonism pays a great deal of
attention to its high achievers, like those who are
stake president before they turn forty or women who
have eight children and maintain a spotless house,'
she observed. Similarly, she continued, 'Mormons
spend a lot of time and energy worrying about those
on the other end of the spectrum, the less-actives.'
She sees the slow-track program as 'a way to
acknowledge and honor the vast majority of Mormons,
those who will never hold high positions of
leadership but who are nevertheless active - the
sloggers, if you will.'
Logan Stake president Gary L. Hackett agrees with
Schippen and says that the new slow-track program
'will prod the lazy ones into progressing at least a
little bit, which is an improvement.' He estimates
that implementing the slow track will cut
administrative tasks, such as nagging phone calls to
complete home or visiting teaching, by as much as 75
percent. 'It's about time we recognized that not
everyone in the church is that top ten percent of
the celestial kingdom material,' he notes. 'And,
really, that's okay. I mean, the bottom two levels
of the celestial kingdom are supposed to be pretty
good too, right?'
Most members seem happy with the
soon-to-be-implemented system. 'Let's face it,' says
local member Larry K. Whiting. 'I'm not cut out for
this high-paced, pressure-oriented Mormon lifestyle.
I mean, home teaching four families every month?
The scheduling alone takes way too much time. And
then I have to go over there and pretend I care
about these people when I'd rather be home watching
ESPN? Give me the slow-track program any day.'
Local member Kendra Koenig agrees. 'Do you know
how much fun it is trying to roust five kids out of
bed for family scripture study and prayer at
6:30A.M? I am sick to death of nagging them about
it, and you can believe it's not doing our family
harmony any good.' She praised the slow-track system
for offering a more realistic temple-attendance
schedule. 'Like anyone who has a life can manage to
get out there twice a month? This slow-track program
is the answer to my infrequent prayers.'
